Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize
