I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
