Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
