New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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