i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
