i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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