if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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