fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Randomize
