hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Go christen that room with your naked body.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
