i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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