I can tuck mytits in my pants
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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