Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
When did we convert life to cartoon?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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