don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize