So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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