remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
