OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
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