In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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