Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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