so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
