dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
