Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
