he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
she peed on how many people?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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