You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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