I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
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Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
