they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
