someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
