Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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