I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
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