Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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