Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
pop tarts are not kleenex
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize