Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
