So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
