that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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