that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
