covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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