Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
