Why are handjobs necessary in class?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize