So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
There's always time for handjobs
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
