I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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