so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
