it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
There r osticjed everywhere
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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