so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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