Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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