My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
