That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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