When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
