I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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