First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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