I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
