i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
