i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
