I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
