This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
There r osticjed everywhere
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
