Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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