She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
