NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I pour the whiskey from now on
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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