stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
