I'm gonna have a badass scar
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
