Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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