drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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