I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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