He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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